Wednesday, June 28, 2006

100

I'll start off with an anecdote -- this happened this afternoon.

We were at a park day with lots of kids from the homeschooling coop. Unfortunately, we got there late, so there were groups of kids doing group things, and Ziad had trouble blending in. There were better and worse moments, but by the end of the afternoon, when the kids he had been playing with left, he found himself odd man out in a group of boys. Things went from bad to worse, and finally he was in a real state.

So one of the other moms called a meeting. We all sat down together, her two sons, another boy, that boy's mom, me and Ziad. They talked. Ziad was acting very angry and savage, but everyone bore with him -- moms, boys, and me. They hung in there with him when he was very difficult. The immediate problem was resolved, life went on, and even though it still took a while, before we left all the kids were really genuinely playing together.

I like that I didn't have to ask for special consideration for my son. I like that the values of those moms were such that they wanted their kids to work on a solution. Not necessarily be "nice" or "polite" but to acknowledge a problem and try to solve it together, not just laugh it off or hold one kid or another to blame.

I'm not saying you have to homeschool to find moms like this. I just know that that's how I found them.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Lesley said...

It takes a village....How does the saying go? "Four heads are better then one...." er something like that? You were receiptive to the help the cooperative (of moms) provided. Not everyone is comfortable that. Some might feel power was being taken away... not fully realizing the possible positive outcome. (Am I making any sense??? Gee--I've got to get to bed....)

9:33 PM  
Blogger Vivian said...

You are so observing and in tune with Ziad, I'm sure the time you spend together counts a lot for his intelligence. How did the other kids react when Ziad was angry? so nice to have other parents help the kids get through a difficult time.

11:58 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

That's actually a hard question to answer, Vivian. I thought I knew the answer, but when I started to write I realized I didn't. They were pretty supportive during the meeting, though. It was pretty obvious who was the one with the problem.

And you know, there may have been a time when I wouldn't have wanted other moms to help me out (and there still are people that can just butt out as far as I'm concerned) but these two kids made it clear to me a long time ago that there's more here than I can handle on my own.

OH, and thanks for the compliment, Vivian. Since I've chosen to make my whole life about being a mother, it's nice to get positive reinforcement.

1:26 PM  

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