I love Tom Swifties

What are Tom Swifties? Egregious puns, that's what they are. Although you can read more on Wikipedia if you like, here's the relevant definition:

A Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. Tom Swifties may be considered a type of Wellerism.

I will forever consider it the crowning glory of the internet that I can now google "Tom Swifties" and find more examples than you can shake a stick at. The following are from a massive collection, organized alphabetically. There are lots more, but these are my favorites from A-C.

"I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.

"These are the propulsion systems used by NASA for the moonshots," said Tom apologetically.

"You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.

"This is George Bernard Shaw's major work," Tom said barbarously.

"I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.

"I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.

"Yes, I have been reading Voltaire," Tom admitted candidly.

"I've been to a film festival in the South of France," said Tom cannily.

"The prisoner escaped down a rope," said Tom condescendingly.

"The situation is grave," Tom said cryptically.