Sunday, August 12, 2007

Cliche alert

Sometimes I'm surprised that any couples can simultaneously raise children and stay married. Everyone knows problems come up in relationships. That's to be expected. But it takes energy, understanding, and time to work through them, and those commodities are frequently all but exhausted after dealing with the offspring. Add to that the fact that problems are frequently precipitated by the children themselves, and where does it get you?

Staring out the windshield listening to angry voices in your head, while your husband drives without talking and your children chatter, oblivious, in the back seat.

Or maybe, in the morning after a long discussion that took all night but ultimately got nowhere, listening to hurtful words like poison in your soul, echoing over and over.

4 Comments:

Blogger Vivian said...

From a Cherokee man in "Pigs in Heaven": "Every family is a little strange, isn't it?"

I don't think there is a magic formula in raising children or staying married. We all have to come up with our own ways to maintain the balance and make things work. It's not a one person job to do either.

I'm all for talking therapy. A good arguement beats cold shoulders any day. Left untreated, the poison in one's soul may become poison to the whole family's soul.

1:07 PM  
Blogger zelda said...

Its amazing what living with someone over a period of many years can do to your image of that person. I guess it can't be avoided if one is interested in a long term relationship. I don't know what the answer is.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Lesley said...

The answer is sex. I know that when my hubby is restless, frustrated, angry... in general feeling, under appreciated at work & at home- I find that sex helps ease the tension.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

Well, sadly, sex is not really the answer in my case any more. It certainly was the answer for a good long time, though.

I think I'm with Vivian, that talking is where its at. Maybe I hear things I don't like, but getting them out in the open is better than having them lurking around where they can't be addressed.

I have to say, I'm running scared, because I've got a strongly emotional boy approaching adolescence, and I think he's going to need two strong parents supporting him with all their might to help him navigate the changes his hormones are going to be throwing at him.

Maybe faith is the answer. Faith in myself, my husband, my son, faith in God, faith that we can weather this (after all, I survived Jennifer's teenage years, and those were pretty goddamned hairy) and faith that we're all in this doing the best we can.

6:38 PM  

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