Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen

You're a mom. You drop your son and daughter off at a birthday party.

Your son comes home with a big lump on his forehead. He's also hurt his leg. He is sobbing uncontrollably, telling you about the crazy kid at the party who scared him and chased him and beat him after he fell down. How bad do you feel? All night you watch over your son to make sure he's OK, and you promise yourself he'll never have to be anywhere near that crazy kid again.

You're a mom. You know your kid has problems with large groups of kids, so anywhere you take him you've always got one ear listening to the background noise, waiting for any trouble, hoping you can intervene before things get out of hand. In fact you get up to check a couple of times and just generally see how the playing is going on. SO YOU FRICKIN KNOW YOUR KID HAS NOT BEEN HARASSING ANYBODY. Oops, I guess you figured out which mom I am.

I'm the mom who had to listen to the other mom tell me how she felt irresponsible for having let her children go to a party when she knew my son would be there. (The horror!) Who had to sympathize when she told me, crying uncontrollably, that she always liked me, and she knows I'm doing the best I can, and she feels so bad that she just couldn't ever ask her kids to be anywhere where my son was. She just couldn't do that to them.

I'm the mom who stayed at the party. Who heard the other kids say that it wasn't my son's fault that this other boy was running without looking where he was going, tripped, fell down, and hit his head. Who saw that same boy, apparently recovered from his trauma, play a board game and eat birthday cake, all in the presence of my monster son. Who now knows that this mom is going to need to vent (just like I do) and is therefore going to be telling people what her son told her, no matter how exaggerated and unfair.

I have to say, I appreciate her honesty. I genuinely like this woman. Without meaning to make light of her son's experience, though, that bump on his forehead is going to go away. The words she and her family are going to say about my son are going to circulate around our small homeschool circle for years. People who already don't like my son are going to know they were always right not to like him. People who've never met him are going to think they know who he is, but they won't.

You know what? No matter how much that mom wishes she hadn't let her kids go to that party, I wish the same thing about mine. Only more. Way more.


Blogger Vivian said...

I've learned that people will always have their opinions, no matter what the facts are. I hope the world will catch up with the evil doers, because they know they are wrong, they just want to make other people feel worse.

Hope Ziad will enjoy another birthday party soon.

8:52 PM  

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